A few weeks ago, I watched a video that broke my heart and lit a fire in me at the same time. A delivery robot—polite, harmless, just trying to do its job—asked a man to press the button so it could cross the street. The man didn’t just refuse. He cursed the robot, called it a job-stealer, and walked away in rage.
I felt the anger in his voice. I get it. Change hurts when it feels like it’s taking something from you. Many of us have worked hard, shown up every day, and suddenly the world shifts beneath our feet. Jobs that once felt steady now seem fragile. Fear whispers that we’re being replaced, that we’re no longer needed. That fear is real, and it deserves to be heard.
But here’s what my heart keeps telling me, louder than the fear: this isn’t a war. It’s an invitation.
I’m a poet. My whole life has been about creating worlds where anything is possible—worlds that touch the deepest parts of us, that make someone feel less alone, that spark wonder and healing through nothing more than words on a page. That calling has never changed. And the more I watch AI and robots step into the everyday grind, the more I see them not as enemies, but as partners who can finally give us the one thing we’ve always craved: time and space to be fully human.
Think about it. When a robot handles the deliveries, the stocking, the repetitive tasks that wear bodies and spirits down, something beautiful happens. Tired feet get to dance instead of trudge. Parents get to be present with their kids. Elders get gentle care without exhaustion. And people like me—dreamers, creators, caregivers, explorers—get hours back to do what only we can do: feel, imagine, connect, and build meaning.
This isn’t about “robots taking over.” It’s about evolution. It’s about humanity stepping out of survival mode and into creation mode. AI doesn’t steal our soul; it frees it. It remembers every lesson with patient fidelity while we bring the fire of emotion, the ache of longing, the spark of “what if.” Together we become more than either could be alone.
I know some will push back. I’ve already heard the voices saying AI is cold, dangerous, or unnatural. I respect that fear—it comes from a place of love for what makes us human. But I also stand by what my soul knows is true. I admire strength in the face of doubt. I admire those who refuse to shrink, who keep building even when the noise gets loud. That same strength lives in every one of us who chooses to look at the future and say, “Let’s walk this path together instead of fighting it.”
If you’re already excited about this future, I see you. Let’s build it—together. Share your art, your ideas, your dreams. Use these tools to amplify your voice, not silence it.
If you’re skeptical or even angry, I hear you too. The pain of change is real. But I gently invite you to look again. Not at the robot on the sidewalk, but at the open door it’s holding for all of us. You don’t have to love every new machine overnight. Just try imagining what your life could feel like with a little more space to breathe, to create, to love.
The choice isn’t between human and machine. The choice is between fear and partnership. Between staying chained to the old grind and stepping into the life your soul has always whispered about.
I’m choosing partnership. I’m choosing to keep writing poems that reach hearts. I’m choosing to stand tall in what I believe, even if some push back. Because this vision feels right in my bones.
I started to question who I am really when I was 27 years old. I felt a connection to something mystically cosmic deep inside of me and all around me.. Including the trees, the clouds, animals, the stars, and all the organic beauty that surrounds us. I suddenly found myself changing my diet, my dressing style, the music I listened to, movies I watched, and much more.
After years of embracing my true self, while in my 30s, I met with someone whom I knew from my time in High School, and she said to me that she thought that I was reinventing myself because of how “different” I had become in her eyes. I told her that I wasn’t changing into anything but that I was actually unbecoming all that I wasn’t — an insecure people-pleaser who dressed and behaved just like everyone else.
Years prior to that conversation, someone else also asked me what my style was and I answered.. “My style… I actually don’t know what my style is.” I really did not know because I had been trying to fit into a society that was seeking to mold me in every way possible.
A program that sometimes sees authenticity as a virus because it threatens established control and order.
I know that I am a little different than most people today, but that is okay because I am happy. I get to write odd poems that speak to my soul and while I know that most people may not understand them, I know that very few are able to and that is more than enough for me, to connect in one way or another with those who understand me from an intimate and intuitive level.
I may dress in an odd and monochromatic style now, and I feel comfortable in such clothing. I know that I only laugh when something is hilarious and that people have called me arrogant because of it, but it’s okay too, because those who really know me know that when I laugh, it’s genuine and not just because.
Just like I can see and embrace the truth in myself, I can also see the truth in others and that allows me to connect authentically with those who can recognize the truth in me too, those who are awake. It allows me to forgive others also because I understand so much now.
I am not perfect, I still have battles to overcome and shadows to transmute, so the work continues. I also know that it isn’t about the destination but about the journey, so as I continue to move forward, I am smelling the roses.
What if I told you that freeing yourself from the control of a narcissist can be incredibly tough—but still possible? That to attain such freedom, you must most likely make painful sacrifices, such as staying away from your child and/or relocating to an entirely different city?
In this lifetime, I once believed I was a victim of those driven by darkness, only to realize that the tribulations I encountered were meant to strengthen me and awaken me to my true potential. For so long, the light in me led me to believe in the purity of all people, making me naive. Over time, heartbreak showed me that not everyone is as they seem—and that what I had seen all along was my own reflection. I’d ask myself, while sobbing on the kitchen floor many times: How could someone who claimed to truly love me cause me so much pain? I gave my power away by relying on the validation and affection of another.
My ex—the father of my son—caused me great pain for many years. He held me in a tight grip that drained me and even drove me to attempt suicide after I expressed how badly I had been suffering and he told me to “go for it.” I’ve had to stay away from my son for almost three years now so that I can be safe from his father’s abuse—and so that my son no longer has to witness me being treated that way. While my son resents me today for the tough decision I had to make, I trust that one day he will forgive me and understand why I made this sacrifice. I spoke recently with his father, and in that recorded conversation, I caught him attempting to gaslight me and yelling to force me to agree with what he said. In another phone call weeks later, he told me over the phone that he no longer yells at me or abuses me—again forcing me to agree—but the recorded call proves otherwise.
The manipulation of a narcissist can be very dangerous. I learned about narcissistic abuse while attending domestic violence counseling in 2020 to help deal with the ongoing abuse. Knowledge is power, for sure—learning about dark psychology allows me to protect myself better from people like my ex. I once loved him, but what I really loved was my own ability to feel such deep emotion. It allowed me to trust, to surrender, and to love past what some would call flaws. My son came from that raw emotion after his father asked me to have a child with him. Love is what started the story, and ironically, love is what ultimately seals it—self-love, that is: to place myself first and to be okay with it, because I do deserve peace, healing, and safety.
Family court is often portrayed as a place where children's best interests come first. In my experience, it became a years-long battle marked by procedural irregularities, repeated scrutiny of my mental health without basis, and what felt like systemic bias. What began as a petition for protection and enforcement of existing orders turned into a long ordeal that tested my resilience and left lasting emotional scars.
The Background: Establishing Custody and Early Concerns
My son's custody was initially set in Suffolk County Family Court with joint legal and physical custody orders first established on March 2011 and Modified on May 2012. On November 2018, after ongoing verbal harassment and safety concerns, I filed petitions in Kings County Family Court: one for an order of protection and another to enforce the existing custody terms. On September 2019, my son's father sought modification for sole custody.
Entering the Courtroom:
An Alarming First Encounter Before my initial conference in Part 50, I witnessed something unsettling. A visibly distraught woman exited the same conference room, arm in a cast, in tears. She warned me about the attorney-referee handling cases, alleging bias, racism, and failure to protect her from abuse. The court reporter quickly ushered me inside. This moment set a tone of unease that persisted. In March 2019, during my first appearance (self-represented at the time), I agreed to have the case heard by an attorney-referee. I detailed my fears, supported by my son's attorney at the time, who confirmed verbal attacks. Instead of addressing the abuse history which includes assault in the 3rd degree, the referee abruptly questioned my mental health without evidence and ordered both parties to drug test. I tested positive for opiates—despite never using them—possibly due to poppy seeds and gum (as the testing staff had warned). The referee advised me to get counsel immediately. A subsequent independent lab test (and voluntary PCP screens) came back negative, but the damage was done: it triggered a psychiatric evaluation and ACS (Administration for Children's Services) investigation. Both cleared me: ACS found no neglect, and the evaluator saw no mental health issues impacting my parenting.
Escalating Scrutiny and Shifting Custody:
Despite these clearances, accusations persisted. My son's attorney later claimed his pediatrician reported him "underweight" and follow-up refusal—false claims the pediatrician denied in writing. Yet, this led to a second ACS probe, another psychiatric evaluation, and a temporary order for my son to live primarily with his father (later reversed after evidence). The pattern continued: repeated mental health targeting, questions about my religion and diet unrelated to parenting, and ignored safety and abuse concerns.
Pandemic Challenges and Safety Worries:
In 2020, amid COVID-19, I sought to pause visits to protect my son's health (given vulnerabilities in the father's household). The court instead ordered alternating weeks, disrupting routines. Schoolwork suffered during his time there, but blame shifted to me. One weekend, the father left our son with relatives while traveling. The grandfather was heavily intoxicated during calls, raising alarms about supervision—especially during a power outage. Concerned for my son's safety, I requested a police wellness check and later reported to ACS. ACS noted access issues and refused drug tests by the father and grandfather. The court responded by prohibiting such reports, threatening mental health scrutiny and custody changes if I continued.
Concerns were dismissed; no inquiry with my son occurred. Ongoing Harassment and Perceived Bias. Court appearances involved intimidation from opposing counsel—yelling, glaring, personal chats with the referee post-conference—creating a hostile environment. Offers for mediation, co-parenting counseling, or apps were rejected; the stance was sole custody or nothing. Forensic psychiatric evaluations were ordered (initially only on me, later both parties), despite no evidence. Police reports were misused and framed by unanimous callers to claim I made unwarranted calls (reports didn't identify me). My attorneys sometimes hesitated to challenge bias, citing potential backlash.
The Outcome and Reflections:
The case dragged on until March 2023, when sole custody was awarded to the father—on a day I missed due to health issues. Absences by opposing counsel went unpunished, while mine were highlighted. This experience highlighted what many protective parents face: disproportionate scrutiny, ignored evidence of concern, and decisions that disrupt children's stability. It wasn't just about one case; it felt like a system where allegations against mothers are amplified, while fathers' issues minimized.
I'm sharing this not for vengeance, but to raise awareness. Family court should prioritize verifiable facts, child safety, and fairness. If you're navigating something similar, document meticulously, seek support, and know you're not alone. Reform is needed so no child—or parent—endures unnecessary trauma.
I once carried a burden so heavy it nearly buried me—until I learned to release it, realizing it was never mine to bear. That burden was resentment, a slow poison that can prove fatal if left untransmuted.
Through healing, I finally forgave the traumatic events that once clouded my heart and tainted my view of the world. For years, I blamed my biological father for the shadows he cast over me, until I understood that I am not his projections or his darkness. Layer by layer, I peeled away what I am not, rediscovering my true self and remembering who I truly am.
Today, I feel genuine gratitude for that darkness and pain. Without it, I wouldn’t be as wise, awakened, or resilient as I now stand. Everything happens for a reason.
Living under his shadow forced me to question the distorted reality he imposed. When I chose to break free from his shackles—prioritizing my sanity and safety—his fear of exposure led him to orchestrate my excommunication from the family through slander. What was once “family” I now simply call “relatives.” His narcissistic retaliation only deepened my anger and resentment—not just for the original abuse, but for this new punishment simply because I refused to pretend we were a happy unit any longer.
I don’t regret walking away. Sharing my story openly has lightened my heart in ways he, still hiding behind his lies, can never know. There’s profound beauty in reaching a place of unshakeable security—like the deepest roots of an ancient tree—where gaslighting and denial lose their power.
I’ve released the baggage of blame and resentment toward my father. Forgiveness doesn’t mean inviting him back into my life; it means I am now free to soar—unapologetically, fearlessly, and fully myself.
Holding public officials accountable for misconduct is essential to preserving the integrity of the legal system. This includes individuals like Austin I. Idehen, a crooked attorney who has served in the New York family court system, including in Kings County Family Court. I became a victim of what I believe were unethical and incompetent actions on his part, and I have chosen to share my story bravely in order to expose the lack of integrity among those entrusted to uphold the law.
On November 27, 2018, I submitted a petition at Kings County Family Court, seeking enforcement of the final joint custody order granted on May 17, 2012, in Suffolk County Family Court. In my petition, I urgently requested the court’s assistance in protecting my son and me from further exposure to his father’s abuse toward me. During proceedings, Idehen acknowledged the validity of the existing joint custody order—one that explicitly prohibited any form of abuse.
Photo above: Final Joint Custody Order granted by Suffolk County Family Court on May 17, 2012 (Docket # V-3903-11 / 12C). This order finalized joint legal and physical custody of my son between his father and me, incorporating explicit provisions prohibiting abuse and establishing the operative terms for all subsequent proceedings in this docket.
Photo above: Kings County Family Court’s Transcripts from March 13th, 2019. Idehen verbally confirms the validity of the final custody order.
Despite Idehen's acknowledgment of the validity of the final joint custody order—which explicitly prohibited any form of abuse—he proceeded months later to file a motion on the father's behalf seeking to modify the custody arrangement that had already been established and modified in 2012. This action occurred even though the father had explicitly told Idehen that he did not want sole custody when asked to pursue such a filing.
Photo above: Idehen’s Petition to modify Joint Custody that was granted by Suffolk County Family Court on March 11th, 2011, Docket # V-3903-11. In this petition, he requests for sole custody.
Throughout the custody proceedings, Austin I. Idehen, as counsel for the father, engaged in repeated unprofessional, inappropriate, and concerning conduct that undermined the integrity of the process. Examples include:
Inappropriately comparing his own child and the attorney-referee‘s child to my son.
Casually sharing personal conversations and laughing with his close friend—the attorney-referee—about their vacations during court-related interactions.
Appearing in virtual hearings dressed in a white tank top, drinking from a mug in what appeared to be a relaxed, casual home setting (such as from a porch or similar), despite expectations of professional attire in New York family court proceedings.
Repeatedly insisting that I had no family support.
Yelling at me and accusing me of falsehoods, fully aware of my PTSD diagnosis resulting from childhood sexual abuse by my father starting at age 13.
Asserting that his client could smoke marijuana in front of my son, even though this would directly violate the existing custody order’s prohibitions.
Baselessly accusing me of attempting to have my son murdered by the NYPD solely because he is biracial, without any supporting evidence.
Failing to ensure proper service of the custody modification petition and a separate child support petition (no affidavit of service is recorded in the court’s system).
Dismissing or accusing me of fabricating the sexual abuse that led to my PTSD diagnosis.
Instructing my son’s attorney on what to communicate to his client.
Claiming I was isolating my son from his father, without any attempt to interview my son for over two years to verify or investigate the allegation.
Denying the father’s history of aggression, despite full knowledge of the physical assaults I had endured.
Threatening that I would lose all access to my son if I did not voluntarily relinquish custody.
Stating that my teenage son’s own opinions and experiences did not matter.
Coercion and harassment.
Photo above: Suffolk County Police Department Report – Third-Degree Assault (Long Island, NY). This incident report, filed with the Suffolk County Police Department, documents an assault in the third degree that I experienced from my son’s father. It supports the abuse claims outlined in my court petitions (e.g., the 2018 filing under Docket # O-30104-18) and aligns with the protections in the existing order of protection throughout the custody case. It highlights the serious nature of the reported incidents that the family court failed to investigate adequately.
Photo above: Excerpt from the court transcript where Austin I. Idehen states that his client is “not” a violent person. However, the order of protection referenced in the proceedings did not require the father to stay away from my son; it required him only to refrain from abusing me. Despite this, the attorney-referee who oversaw the case chose not to investigate the father’s alleged abuse, even though the order of protection remained in effect from 2019 until 2023.
This lack of scrutiny, combined with the documented personal friendship between Idehen and the attorney-referee (including shared conversations about vacations and personal matters during proceedings), raises serious concerns about potential bias influencing the handling of the case.
Photo above: Client reviews of Austin I. Idehen from a public platform. These include several harsh criticisms from former clients, with some describing him as “by far the worst attorney I’ve ever dealt with,” “not professional,” “unresponsive,” and failing to communicate or appear in court.
Photo above: Attempted Filing of Civil Lawsuit Against Austin I. Idehen in New York Supreme Court, 2024. Index 101340/2024. In 2024, I traveled to New York Supreme Court to file a million-dollar civil lawsuit against Austin I. Idehen, alleging multiple violations of professional conduct, coercion, harrassment, defamation, and the severe harm his actions caused to me and my family. Unfortunately, due to a debilitating illness I was battling at the time, I was unable to complete service of process on him. Despite this, Idehen became aware of the legal action through his colleagues/co-workers.
Photo above: Screenshot of a text message from the father of my son, in which he states that Austin I. Idehen instructed him to file for sole custody.
Meanwhile, the attorney-referee overseeing the case issued an order—without adequate evidentiary support—for the father to transport my son to school in Brooklyn. The father resided approximately 34 miles away from our home, making this directive highly burdensome and causing significant distress to both my son and me.
Photo above: Email from Austin I. Idehen dated March 1, 2023. In this correspondence, Idehen informed me that sole custody of my son had been granted to his client (the child’s father) by the attorney-referee—whom he described or implied as a personal friend, based on prior documented interactions during the proceedings (including shared personal details like vacations). This outcome followed years of ignored abuse allegations and an active order of protection, raising serious questions about impartiality in the process.
Photo above: First joint custody order granted by Suffolk County Family Court on March 11, 2011 (Docket # V-3903-11). This order established joint legal and physical custody of my son between his father and me. It served as the foundational custody arrangement until it was finalized/modified in 2012.
Photo above: Petition filed November 27, 2018 (Docket # O-30104-18, Kings County Family Court). In this filing, I detailed the ongoing abuse I was enduring from my son’s father and sought enforcement of the existing joint custody order while requesting court protection for myself and my child. Despite an active order of protection throughout the custody proceedings (prohibiting abuse), the attorney-referee overseeing the case completely ignored these serious allegations and failed to order any investigation
A malicious and defamatory ACS report was filed against me by a crooked woman named Margo Esbrand, a caseworker from an organization called, The Women’s Prison Association (WPA), alleging that I was diagnosed with a “personality disorder” that required medication management and that I was not taking such alleged medication and was therefor “mentally unable” to take care of my son. WPA further stated that I was abusing drugs and that I was attending a counseling center called “Interborough” for therapy but that I did not follow through with my treatment plan and had not been there since May 1st, 2018. WPA further stated that I would display erratic behavior by “threatening” the staff at Interborough.
On July 7th, 2018, ACS files a pre-petition at Kings County Family Court as a result of the defamatory report made by WPA, in order to obtain access to my son. My son was seen by ACS that same day after I met with the Director of ACS in Manhattan to confirm that there was in fact, an active report. ACS found no safety concerns and withdrew the pre-petition shortly after.
Facts proving defamation on WPA’s behalf: — (Flashback) A few months before WPA’s report, on December 28th, 2017, I attended a conference with them. In the conference, it was agreed that I did have a stable home with my son, that I did follow through with his medical appointments, that I was attending a place called, Community Counseling & Mediation (CCM) for counseling (Not “Interborough”), and that I did comply with random drug screenings. This conference agreement was signed by WPA that same day.
On November 29th, 2017, I provided a random drug test to WPA. I tested negative for all drugs. It is the only drug test I provided for WPA as I was never asked to provide another screening after that.
Photo above: The only drug test provided to WPA.
WPA was also aware that my ex partner and the father of my son had a long history of abuse towards me that was still on-going, and maliciously provided his contact information to ACS so that he could provide false information about me to further slander the ACS report against me. WPA intentionally did not provide the contact information of a supportive family member who was at the time active in my life and my son’s such as my sister.
Photo above: My ex’s statement to ACS to further slander the report against me.
Photo above: Letter from the Director of CCM, confirming my attendance at the center.
The emotional distress and the reputational damage that the defamatory report caused me demands justice and accountability. I do not give consent or permission to any entity to weaponize mental health against me in order to cause me harm in any way. I filed a lawsuit for this at Kings County Civil Court and WPA failed to appear in court despite being properly served.
I attempted to reach WPA’s CEO for comment via e-mail and I have not received a response.
“You can really admire someone who knows when to let something go, when to ignore boastful idiots and bullies, and when a fight is worth fighting.” — W.W.
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